Humor = Sanctuary

Master TADAH found herself in her room in the House of Keahak, rather perplexed at how much the place has changed when her thoughts skipped to her friend Juniper, a Master in her own right, but also the mentee of UA.

TADAH never said anything out loud, as many in the House, but all KNEW in that annoying KNOWING way, that UA was somehow IMPORTANT, but that she was also important in the way that meant you had to pretend really hard that SHE WASN’T ALL THAT IMPORTANT. It was Masterful stuff indeed and would become very important in the future now moment, for some.

It was at that exact moment that The House presented TADAH with one of her very own rainbow cocktails. Very HoK-like, it simply materialized from the ceiling and in a cloud of rainbow gas floated precisely into her hand. The brew sported a cocktail umbrella on which was written “Meet me on the Porch. xxJ

TADAH read the note, took a quick swig of Rainbow Cocktail and then stopped…

She turned slowly to view herself in the full-length mirror. She cocked her head to the right and her wardrobe changed to a leisurely yet very vibrant pink lounge suit and gold sunglasses. She nodded approvingly. She could sense, Juniper needed her most IT SO DOESN’T MATTER-TADAH! she could muster. She cocked her head down a few degrees and in her right hand she manifested a black wide-brimmed sun hat. That’s it, she thought, donning the sunhat and heading out her door and down the central stairs of The House.

As TADAH exited the House, she was once again confronted by “The Oscar in a Rainbow Cloak Statue/Elephant on the Porch-problem” that’s been the “DON’T TALK ABOUT IT” in the House for a … let’s just say, while, because there is no time and it doesn’t matter. But yes, Oscar drank the cocktail, collapsed and was never mentioned again…. so, there he was kind of crumpled on the front porch of The House. TADAH took a deep breath, turned right and spotted Juniper on her favourite porch swing which, much to other Master’s annoyance, only appeared when Juniper was in residence. The House and Juniper had a special bond and therefore it refused to conjure another for any other Master if Juniper wasn’t IN DA HOUSE!

The House also had a sense of humour and liked fucking with The Masters because quite frankly many became complacent and needed a kick up the ass once in a while.

It was a House.

It felt it could get away with it.

And it was right.


As TADAH sank down on the porch swing; slowed by Juniper in perfect timing to her movements, so no effort was required to go from standing and walking, to sitting and swinging, TADAH took a deep breath of sunset view and sighed happily. She was trying very hard to not think the thought but as thoughts do, they like to be thunk. And as she thought, The Thought, Juniper spoke the words, “I know. I look and probably feel a tad different TADAH,”, she turned to face her friend and continued, “and thank you for responding so quickly to my note. It means I chose correctly.”

TADAH stayed silent and present, watching Juniper as her eyes drifted to the “Oscar on the Porch” problem. With her eyes firmly on Oscar, she whispered, “So much has happened TADAH.”

TADAH looked upon her friend Juniper with the compassion of a true Master and decided it was time for a little energy shift.

“Juniper Tree!”, she said in her most Professor-like voice, “Who Are You!?”

Juniper perked up enough to give TADAH a sly smile and then cocked her head to answer in HER most Professor-like voice: “Well Professor T, that is the No-Time, New-Energy Question of the everywhen, right here in “No! it’s not New Earth, it’s THEOS! Isn’t it?”.

TADAH and Juniper looked at each other, squaring off Professor to Professor. The House, wisely decided this, was the perfect time for chocolate cupcakes and coffee. Delivered House-style materializing up out of the ground and into their respective hands. TADAH and Juniper didn’t miss a beat and simply accepted the chocolate and coffee, because why wouldn’t you?

“It’s so good to be home,” Juniper said as she bit hungrily into the cupcake.

TADAH just smiled and knew she didn’t have to say a thing.

After a few bites of a cupcake, some sips of coffee and companionable silence Juniper took a deep breath.

“TADAH, I have to tell someone what’s just happened and I’ve been looking and looking for someone to have this conversation with,” Juniper stopped and took another breath.

“Juniper,” TADAH said without moving her head, “we spent 3 years together in The House. And our humans have met on Old Earth. You know, and I know that we KNOW each other. Take a deep breath and just tell me the story, because clearly there’s a story and you know how much I love a good story. So, tell your old friend… this story,” she concluded as she turned to stare Juniper straight in the eyes and commune a little extra P.S. telepathically, See me Juniper Tree. Yes, I am here and yes you can trust me with this. Breathe.”

The telepathic energy kick did the trick as Juniper allowed the tears to flow. “Thank you,” she whispered as her gentle release of emotions rolled like ripples from the stone her friend had just dropped into her.


When she sat up, tears having subsided, she curled her legs under her on the porch swing, looking at her friend whilst gathering her thoughts. Then she closed her eyes, reached out with her left hand and touched The House with the tips of her fingers and said, “Friend. We’re going to need Tequila for this. Best you can conjure, please.”

TADAH smiled as the ice cooler with a selection of Theos-class tequilas floated into existence next to swing. Juniper did that thing where she moved on furniture and balustrades as though they were tree limbs. Shifting her weight from curled up, to kneeling on the swing, she grabbed a bottle of golden liquid and poured two shots into whiskey glasses already filled with ice. She handed one over saying, “Here. Only the bare basics, you do you,” before positioning herself to the opposite side of the swing. As she leaned back and stretched her long legs out, the swing stretched along with her. Now both had ample space, and each had golden liquid in a glass. For Juniper, it was tequila because that was her favorite golden liquid. She knew TADAH was going to magic hers into something else; so she simply watched quietly while sipping at her drink.

TADAH fell seamlessly into the act, kicking off her shoes and pulling her legs into a perfectly unladylike crossed-legged position that AM Kuthumi would have “Namaste’d!” at in appreciation. With her right elbow leaning on her knee she held up her whiskey glass of golden liquid, twirling the ice slowly clockwise, tilting her head to take in the colour.

Juniper took a sip of her tequila and steadied herself, stepping further into the act with another Master. It was important to not be the first to laugh. This was GAME ON. And TADAH was The Master of Humour. Juniper knew this and loved that she needed to be On Point.

TADAH … having felt all of that… raised her left eyebrow at Juniper whilst making a point to not turn her eye so much as one milli-anything from the focused point of the golden liquid.

Juniper followed the Master’s gaze into the centre of the twirling golden liquid and watched a Master Alchemist at play. “Now what do I feel like drinking?!” TADAH said overly-dramatically. Juniper covered her mouth and swallowed the giggle that was already threatening to spill over. No, she thought to herself. Step up. Breathe.

Juniper raised her gaze slowly from the centre of her glass of normal everyday tequila, looked at the glass in her friend’s hand and focused. In a flash, Juniper saw everything that The House had represented on her journey to realization. She looked at the golden liquid and felt a rush of such gratitude and love. She remembered that love is a sense and that, that means, it’s a dimension. She switched gears again, golden liquid… “TADAH… remember the golden fabric Prof went on and on and on and on about? What would that taste like?” the words spilt harmlessly from Juniper’s lips, a mere scientific wander down imagination street, which was another sense and therefore another dimension.

It was TADAH’s turn to have an internal dialogue as she strained to keep a straight face whilst simultaneously beaming, BRILLIANT IDEA! at Juniper in the most un-PS like manner. This was the moment that Juniper bowed to the Master of Humour by laughing out loud! Some more water spilt out, this time in the space of sanctuary that humour provided in times of need.

As Juniper gathered herself from having lost The Game, she found herself at an angle on the porch swing that was new. Her head was dangling over the edge, tears of laughter falling in a perfect, single drop rainstorm, to form a tiny elongated puddle, one drop at a time as the swing moved slowly back and forth.

Perspective, she thought. Always remember to change your perspective.


Juniper stayed in the position, head hanging down, a new perspective presenting itself. TADAH realized the Gold Liquid game had been put on hold. Something was up. Juniper had locked her gaze on “Rainbow Oscar-statue” and gone very silent.

In a very quiet, “I’m talking to myself” voice, Juniper mused, “Golden fabric. Rainbow cloak.”

In the suspenseful moment, TADAH took a sip of liquid from her glass and got a tiny shock. “Juniper!” she whispered urgently, whilst eyes remaining absolutely laser-focused on the golden liquid in her glass, “what have we done?”

Juniper reluctantly broke her gaze from Oscar in his rainbow cloak locked in some rainbow-stasis she put him in, feeling the responsibility land on her again and turned to her friend. In one flowing graceful movement, Juniper was sitting upright and invading her friend’s personal space in a way only very old, really good friends could without starting rumors.

With her nose almost touching the glass, Juniper allowed the golden liquid now radiating from within the glass to commune with her.


It had a lot to say.


The first thing it communed to her was that it felt far more comfortable held by the glass, as opposed to the existential exercise the Prof had put the Keahaker’s through during that training session asking them to set it free and allow it to flow as it would. This, the golden liquid communed, takes a certain level of imagination very few ever attained and could lead to stretched mind-syndrome which apparently is a tad over-flow-ey for a balanced life.

Juniper took a beat to take in what the golden liquid had communed to her. She looked up at TADAH and suddenly remembered her friend had taken a sip of the drink.

The experiment grew as Juniper observed the effects on the Master. “How are you feeling?” Juniper asked gingerly.

TADAH met Juniper’s eyes and simply said, “Like, I just drank myself.”

Juniper let out a giggle of relief and settled back against the porch swing, lifting her own glass, “Wonder what I would taste like?”.

Alchemy in a glass, as tequila turned to golden fabric and Juniper took a sip of herself.

“You know TADAH, whoever coined the phrase “Dark Night of the Soul” should be made to walk the plank – Pirate style! I mean really!?! Dark Night? Like it’s just one night, don’t worry, it’s over before you know it! HA!”

It was TADAH’s turn to hold back the giggles as they now watched the THEOS moons rising over the ridge, sun long gone. THEOS had as many moons as THEOS felt like it in the now-moment. Tonight, it sported two. One big blue one, and one smaller violet one. The two moons danced around one another in the night sky, or at least how the golden-fabric drink was making it look.

“Where have you been, Juniper?” TADAH asked. “The last time I saw you, you went off with UA in the hot air balloon. You know… after the schism.”

“UA took me to the desert, TADAH! To a gathering of magical tribes, down there!” Juniper pointed down to the floor, indicating that she meant Old Earth.

“Ah!” TADAH said, “And how was that?”

“Best 12 days of my life, really. And I was so sure Oscar was there! I could feel him everywhere but could find him nowhere. So I had to come back and just check, that he was indeed still here. And here he is. What on earth am I going to do about him?” Juniper said, pointing to the Oscar-on-the-porch problem.

“I wouldn’t worry about it, after all, you did warn him that the House may not allow him in, remember? Only Masters Allowed.” TADAH said in her relaxed way that Juniper had grown to love so much.

“It so doesn’t matter does it?” Juniper asked.

“Nope never does. Anyway, the Keahakers have grown quite accustomed to him. He comes in quite useful as a perch sometimes.”

Juniper laughed at the image of some Master perching on the Devil in a rainbow cloak as though he was just another bench and sighed, “oh well, I suppose you’re right. No use worrying.”

So Juniper, are you going to tell me about these best 12 days of your life? Or is it to be a story about the longest dark night of the soul ever?” TADAH asked.

Juniper looked over to her friend and said, “Fuck it, let’s go with the best 12 days. It included a threshold moment, TADAH. I still wanted to do that workshop with the Prof, guess it’s too late for that now.”

TADAH smiled and simply replied, “Well, get to it then.”

“Where to begin,” Juniper said, “the beginning I suppose.”

Like all stories it must surely begin with, “Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a gathering of 12 magical tribes.”

With grace

The Writer

PS Someone, please feed the cat!









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